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Work Left Undone

 
 
 

Work Left Undone: Choices & Compromises of Talented Females

Chapter One:
The Issues and Challenges Facing Talented Females

 

Little has been written in history books or otherwise about talented women, the choices they faced throughout their lives, and the decisions they made. Some philosophers and feminists believe that the lack of continuity in women's history results in the need for each generation of women to reinvent both ideas and a feminist consciousness--ideas already invented, but forgotten, by previous generations. According to Gerda Lerner (1993), women throughout history have always recognized that they had talent, enabling them to disregard patriarchal constraints, gender-defined roles, and a constant barrage of discouragement. Lerner also believes that the inner assurance and serenity that come with form-giving talent allowed such women to make their own place in the world and stand by their talent, often in isolation, in loneliness, and under the derision of contemporaries. For a woman to realize her talents requires effort, conscientious decision-making, and an understanding that the full range of talents and gifts of many women go unrealized. Many people never fully understand the opportunities denied to girls and women because realities and experiences in today's world reinforce certain roles and obligations for women.

Our first responsibility as a society is to notice the stereotyping which affects all of us and, in turn, influences our perceptions about our own abilities and choices. Our second responsibility is to understand how difficult it is to help gifted girls unless we learn from the lives of gifted women. Learning about the obstacles faced by many talented women will help us to enable gifted girls to learn how to plan and overcome difficulties which have hindered their mothers' and grandmothers' journeys toward their dreams and aspirations. When we help young girls overcome these issues, each succeeding generation of talented women will have taken one more step toward equity and resolving the problems discussed in this book.

An explanation about terminology may be needed to frame the discussion about the terms gifted and talented. For decades, researchers and authors have argued over these terms, and there is not one universally accepted definition for either. Some use the terms interchangeably, while others argue incessantly over which term applies to certain groups of children and adults. In this book, I use gifted to apply to those with high abilities or potentials in several areas or in general, and talented to indicate individuals with distinct abilities in one or two areas, such as science, math, and art.

You Just Didn't Notice
In 1976, Heather, my sixth grade student who had spent seven months studying robotics, and then designing and building a life-sized robot as a part of her work in a program for gifted and talented students, approached me with a disturbing observation. Several people had visited our school to see Heather's robot after a story had appeared about it in our local newspaper. It seemed, she said, that the male and female visitors asked different kinds of questions about her robot. Heather noticed that the women who came to see the robot asked her about how she designed it, what kind of motor she had used, how she had gotten the idea, and other questions about the process of building the robot. The men who visited, however, all asked variations of a single question in a rather teasing and playful way: they wanted to know if Heather had built the robot to do housework.

At the time, I was surprised by Heather's observation and insisted that she was mistaken in her conclusions. Heather looked at me quietly and said, "You just didn't notice." In the weeks that followed our conversation, I listened to the comments of those who visited our school and discovered that Heather had been right: I had not noticed. The first or second question that most male visitors, regardless of their ages, asked about the robot concerned whether it had been built to do housework. This experience caused me to consciously "notice" more and assume less. Some might deny it, but gender stereotyping and prejudices are pervasive in our society. In the years that followed, I have repeatedly watched stereotyping affect smart young girls in their formative years and influence their ability to fulfill their potential in their adult lives.

Few questions can be raised about whether or not the underachievement of talented women exists. The fact remains that in most professional fields and occupations, men surpass women in both the professional accomplishments they achieve and the financial benefits they reap. Today statistics show that women continue to earn less than men and receive only a small fraction of the patents granted. In comparison to men, they write fewer books and research articles and compose and paint only a fraction of the world's art. Some may argue that these facts alone do not represent an adequate measurement of female underachievement. However, it is important to recognize that many talented women perceive that they missed opportunities and either abandoned aspirations or were forced to choose lower goals during their lives. We can measure the extent of female underachievement by listening to the many older women in our society who look back on their lives with feelings of regret, saying, "I might have but . . ." or "I could have if . . ." or "I never had time to . . ." It is our responsibility to help young women carefully consider their decisions and choices and to help older women realize that it is seldom "too late." It is also essential that we realize how difficult it is to discuss gifted girls without discussing gifted women because most young women believe that they can "do it all" or "have it all," while most older women understand that they cannot and that they must make "either/or" decisions.

Defining Underachievement in Talented Females

What do I mean by underachievement in relation to talented females and at what age does it surface? The answers to these questions are important if we are to understand the disparity between male and female achievement and if we are to succeed in our efforts to improve the situation. Definitions of underachievement, always problematic, vary with the age of the person under consideration and seldom apply in the same way to males and females. Researchers often define underachievement in young girls as "failing to do as well as might be expected in school." However, since females receive higher grades than males throughout elementary school, secondary school, and college, but their professional productivity is lower, I have argued that grades in school should not be equated with underachievement, but rather what a person believes can be attained or accomplished in life (Reis, 1987). A university honors student in one of my classes a few years ago put it succinctly, "My parents expected me to get good grades, but they expected my brother to be a doctor."

Another difficulty in trying to discuss underachievement in girls is related to stages of life. A teenage girl who achieves at extraordinary levels in high school has less of a chance of realizing her potential than a male peer because so many talented young women defer their dreams during college when they become involved in a relationship or interact with female peers who are less ambitious.

Underachievement in adult women is a totally different concept than underachievement in younger women because it defies measurement by the grades achieved in school. Adult standards for achievement might be centered on profession, status, career-related accomplishments, satisfaction, or productivity. But to what extent are these standards defined by the work of males? Perhaps we should reexamine the concept that underachievement in talented women is based on the same professional accomplishments as their male counterparts. The realization of women's talents may need to be redefined to include the joy of accomplishment as they pursue a career that still allows time for a satisfying personal life, nurturing children and family, or the success of being outstanding in an area outside of professional work.

A Case in Point
One of my closest childhood friends was a superb student, brilliant in math and science. We were in the same accelerated program in junior and senior high school and spent a great deal of time together. She lived with her parents and several siblings in a rather shabby, second floor apartment in the middle of the small city where we grew up. Her father was a salesman and her mother stayed at home to raise the family, as did most of our mothers in the 1950s. My friend's mother fascinated me and I looked for excuses to spend time with her. She was a highly intelligent graduate of one of the finest women's colleges on the east coast. She read at least five or six books weekly and always had books that she wanted to discuss with me or any of our other friends who would listen. She read philosophy, science, history, poetry, and fiction of the type that I had never seen. I don't think I have ever met anyone who was as hungry to learn and to think as my friend's mother. I often wondered about my friend's mother. Why didn't she do something to improve her life, find another outlet that would enable her to use her considerable intellect, and apply some of her many talents to find challenging work outside of the home?

After college, when I returned to my home town as an English teacher, I saw my friend's mother often. She checked out seven or eight books each week from the city library where I often went to prepare lessons or look for books myself. We talked regularly and I came to understand that she was a very contented woman who loved to learn, loved her children, and led one of the happier lives I knew. My friend grew up to be a scientist, one of the few women in her college class to earn a Ph.D. in science. She later told me that her mother was her greatest support system and the one person with whom she could discuss ideas. Were her mother's talents wasted? Or were they, instead, focused on the pursuit and love of learning that she was able to pass on to her children, all of whom grew up to be talented, productive adults? My friend's mother clearly displayed maternal giftedness and unconditional support for her children's interests and talents. In discussing female accomplishments, how do we frame a discussion about women like her?

Creative Productivity of Females

Some researchers have found that male professors produce more creative work in the form of research publications than female professors (Axelrod, 1988; Ajzenberg-Selove, 1994; Bateson, 1989). Other researchers have observed that men write more books, earn more degrees, produce more works of art, and make more contributions in all professional fields (Callahan, 1979; Reis, 1987, 1995). Research about gifted women consistently cites the lower adult creative productivity of women (Ochse, 1991; Pirto, 1991; Kirschenbaum & Reis, 1997). Even in areas such as literature, in which both men and women believe that females excel, men are more productive in professional accomplishments. For many years, more men than women have been recipients of grants from the National Endowment for the Arts Fellowships in Literature.

One of the major reasons that males consistently demonstrate more creative productivity in their professional lives is that they have more time for their work and fewer home-related duties. Many talented women who assume the primary responsibility for domestic chores or who are single parents demonstrate creativity in different ways. Their creativity is seldom applied directly to one aspect of their life; rather it is diffused into many directions within their family and home--in the Halloween costumes they design for their children, the way they decorate their homes, the meals they prepare, the complicated schedules they plan for their families, the creative ways they stretch the family budget, and even the clothes they purchase or sometimes design and sew. Because women still assume the primary responsibility of family nurturer and caretaker, many creative energies are directly channeled into their family and home, while their spouse's creative energy is free to be directly applied to his work. While this caregiving has in the past been directed primarily to childcare, people are living longer and elderly parents often need to be cared for as well. In the early 1970s, only 25% of people in their late 50s had a surviving parent, but by 1980, 40% did, as did 20% of those in their early 60s, and 3% of those in their 70s. The need for care has become most necessary for the oldest people in our society, those over the age of 85, a group that has grown from fewer than 300,000 in 1930 to over 3 million today. Those caring for these elderly parents are women, and thus, the responsibilities for caregiving increases.

Completing creative work requires long periods of concentration, time which is clearly not available to many women in their peak work and childbearing years and perhaps not even in their older years. Wahlberg and Stariha (1992) suggest that achieving eminence in a given field may require as many as 70 hours of work per week for over a decade. Younger women who have families simply do not have that kind of time available for their professional work. Because of the way women have been raised and the messages they may have received from our culture, even single women without families may not possess the confidence required for this type of commitment to work. Instead, they may be content to work in the background in a less "center stage" position. Female creative work, therefore, may be directed at lower-profile products. While their male counterparts produce plays, write articles or books, undertake large deals, and are viewed as high creative achievers, many women make conscious or unconscious decisions to work in a more facilitating role, implementing the creative ideas of others.

In addition, fewer women fulfill their potential to complete professional and creative endeavors simply because they have different priorities. Most women face a multitude of important issues that need and deserve their time and attention. People they love more than their work, a sick child or elderly parents who need care, a friend who is in trouble, and many other personal issues force talented women to make decisions about what is most important to them. A dear friend who died of cancer at the age of 33 told me that the only comfort she had about her imminent death was that during the previous eight years, her three sons, ages 8, 6, and 3, had been her major priority in life. Because she had delayed her career after having her first son and had taken care of her children full-time, she felt no guilt about having spent enough time with her children. For many women, having to split time between those they love and their work is a difficult and often wrenching choice.

A third reason that women may not pursue creative productive work is that they may possess certain personality traits which often conflict with high-profile creative endeavors. These traits occur in many women, whether they work within or outside of the home, are married or single, and whether or not they have children. One of the most common traits is perfectionism, which causes some girls and women to expend maximum energy at all times, attempting to do everything and do it well. Often, it is not enough to try to be outstanding in the work they do. Perfectionistic women also feel they must strive for a flawless body, a house that could be on the cover of Better Homes and Gardens, and perfect children. These talented women wear themselves out trying to do everything well, often with minimal help from their spouses. Despite these accomplishments, they still feel plagued by the guilt that they may not have given enough to their husbands, children, home, and career.

Factors Contributing to Underachievement in Talented Females

While difficulties exist in defining and measuring underachievement with certainty, I have been able to reach some conclusions about this elusive subject after almost two decades of work. Rather than reviewing the increasing body of research that concentrates on biological differences between men and women across the lifespan, I have concentrated my efforts in both my research and in this book on the sociocultural issues facing talented and gifted women. Sex differences which are biologically determined can certainly be viewed as contributing to differences in achievement between men and women. I believe, however, that it may not be possible to truly understand the biological differences until we are able to reduce differences caused by sociocultural issues. My research has demonstrated that specific sociocultural issues and messages contribute to underachievement and lower expectations in girls and women.

Cultural Stereotyping, Sex Roles, and Different Messages
Sexual stereotyping regarding females exists at every level of our society. We need only glance at a magazine, turn on a television, examine the differences between girls' and boys' toys, or read current popular children's magazines or books to be reminded of the differences in cultural expectations for males and females. Many years ago, I remember being startled by an advertisement on the back cover of a popular psychology journal, depicting a man using a telescope (caption: "he likes the planets") and a woman reading a book about Hollywood (caption: "she likes the stars"). Recently, Newsweek displayed a matrix of six popular teen magazines, giving examples of teen jargon, stories on role models, boy-crazy headlines, and serious issues. Newsweek's editorial summary is an apt descriptor of stereotyping: "Do editors think girls are psyched for anything besides boys, celebs and zits?" (Media, 1998, p. 6). This stereotyping delivers powerful messages to females about their role in life, their own importance, and their worth.

Bright young girls are often caught in a bind between their intelligence and their gender. An eager, questioning mind may cause a student to call out in class, to debate, to argue, to ask questions. A boy who acts in this way may be labeled precocious, while a smart verbal girl who asks too many questions may be labeled obnoxious, aggressive, or even unfeminine. These stereotypes often continue through adult life, as demonstrated by case studies in later chapters of this book.

In research about schools and stereotyping, Myra and David Sadker (1994) found that boys vocally dominate the classroom. In more than one hundred fourth-, fifth-, and sixth-grade classes in four states and the District of Columbia, they found that boys got more attention and encouragement than girls and that in all subject areas boys dominated classroom communication. The Sadker's research also demonstrated that teachers behaved differently when boys or girls called out in class without raising their hands. When boys answered without being called on, teachers accepted their answers; the same behavior from girls, however, resulted in negative responses toward not raising their hands. This research illustrates a subtle but powerful message for girls: boys should be academically assertive and demand teacher attention, and girls should act like ladies and keep quiet. Being eager and assertive in asking questions in school may also contrast sharply with the polite manners most parents demand of their daughters. This confusion about appropriate behavior and the mixed messages intelligent girls receive from parents and peers is best described in a letter I received from a nineteen-year-old female:

Caught in the double-bind of being labeled talented, being told I can do anything, being treasured as a bright young person, and at the same time being told not to compete, not to try to "run with the guys and not to show off," to "be a lady," I spent many years and much invaluable energy in the psychic bind of the talented girl. Even now, although the circumstances have changed (after all, I am in college!), I still fight the same old battles of outside expectations, awkward roles, and self-sabotage.

Current research (discussed later in this book) indicates that girls are treated differently in elementary and secondary classrooms as well as college classrooms. Talented females with many questions and ideas may suffer more than any other group from the mixed messages they receive from their parents, teachers, and peers. Parents who demand high grades in every subject on report cards might also urge their daughters to act like young ladies and refrain from arguing a point or questioning authority, thereby hindering the development of certain skills which are necessary for a rigorous academic education.

Concerns about Relationships
Another issue related to bright women is the kind of advice and counseling used to encourage them to pursue advanced course work, graduate school, and fulfilling professional lives. Without making any value judgments, women must realize that a demanding professional career will undoubtedly result in some difficult choices. As Carol Gilligan (1982) sensitively pointed out in her book, In a Different Voice, the value systems of women are different from those of men. If, as Gilligan believes, women view moral concerns in terms of interpersonal relationships and responsibilities to others, they may have a difficult, if not impossible, time putting their own needs in front of the needs of those they love. The "different voice" that Gilligan discusses lies in an ethic of caring and a close tie between relationship and responsibility. This voice may be the reason that many women choose to remain in lower-paying or lower-status jobs. The personal relationships they have developed in their work or the flexibility these types of jobs offer, enabling them to have more time with their families, are often more attractive to women than jobs of a higher caliber.

Special Populations of Talented Girls and Women

Underlying the problem of underachievement in talented girls and women are certain cultural and environmental factors that become overwhelming influences in their lives. We know that women who receive doctorates are more likely to come from higher socioeconomic homes and have parents who are professional and successful. Higher socioeconomic status may not only result in the financial ability to send a daughter to college and graduate school, but also in the encouragement, expectations, and advice that parents provide to help their daughters gain the independence and self-confidence necessary to leave home and attend college. This encouragement and specific advice may be less prevalent in lower socioeconomic families in which some parents do not have the experience of having attended college themselves or the knowledge to help their daughters find scholarship opportunities or loan applications.

We cannot measure the lost potential of some talented females without calling special attention to the problems of economically disadvantaged females as well as young women and girls from culturally and linguistically diverse backgrounds. How many African American, Native American, or Hispanic girls have the potential to become come scientists, writers, artists, or musicians, but will not because they do not believe these goals to be within their reach? Not only do these young women believe that most scientists are male, they also have come to understand that most are not from their culture.

We must acknowledge that escaping poverty to meet one's potential is difficult enough for males who expect to have a lifetime of work outside of the home. Females who are expected to care for brothers and sisters, cook the family's meals, keep the house clean, marry young, and have children of their own, often lose the opportunity for a different future. The brilliant young Hispanic females profiled in this book had to push the limits of their culture to enable themselves to leave home to attend college.

Defining Gifts and Talents in Women

Perhaps one of the best ways to learn how to overcome the challenges and choices faced by talented females is to study the qualities exhibited by those who have been successful, as well as those who have not realized their potential. My research with talented women has enabled me to identify common traits and influences that they share. Figure 1 summarizes these similarities in women's self-perception, personality, and experiences. Many of the women who participated in my research made a conscious decision to actively nurture and develop their talents. The following four factors defined the realization of their talents: (a) above average ability and/or special talents, (b) personality traits, (c) environmental issues, and (d) the perceived social importance of the use or manifestation of the talent. Each of these factors helped these women believe in themselves and promoted their desire to contribute, thus enabling each woman to actively develop her talents.

Above Average Ability and Special Talents
Most of the women I studied were good, but not always superior, students in school. However, they each had special talents such as musical ability, superior writing skills, or dramatic talent. Joseph Renzulli (1978, 1986) has distinguished between schoolhouse giftedness and creative-productive giftedness, believing that while both are important, individuals who make contributions recognized by history or within particular domains of human performance are often those who display creative productive giftedness. The women who realized their talents as adults were not always superlative students, but they certainly displayed creative and productive behaviors in their areas of talent and ability. In almost every case, their interests and motivations merged to enable them to develop their talents. In addition, what Robert Sternberg (1986) has described as contextual intelligence was also displayed by the participants, as most had to adapt or change their environment in order for their talents to be realized and developed.

Personality Traits
Most of the talented women I studied exhibited specific personality traits including determination, motivation, creativity, patience, and the ability to take and, in some cases, thrive on risks. The one trait clearly exhibited by every woman was determination. The ability to strive for success and continue to work hard, often under adverse conditions and sometimes without the love and support of her family and/or partner, was evident in all.

Each explained her source of determination and motivation differently. Some were certain it had developed from the positive role modeling of their parents in teaching them how to work. Others believed they developed their motivation because of a strong purpose in their lives such as preserving the environment, being a successful composer, or bringing theater to disadvantaged urban youth. Still others believed that their motivation came from a desire to produce, to leave a mark upon the world, and from the sheer joy of the creative act.

They each displayed creativity, which was evident in their talent areas as well as in the way they found time for family and relationships. The sheer volume of their work and their persistent evolution into higher talent forms resulted both from their own creativity as well as the intense love for their work. These talented women also displayed patience. Some waited years to have the opportunity to invest considerable blocks of time to develop their own talent, and some worked steadily over the years only to be acknowledged for their specific talents later in life. A congresswoman who waited until her youngest daughter was ready for college before running for office, a composer who worked year after year to improve her art form, and a forester who pursued work in her own field decade after decade all displayed this patience in the development of their talents. In addition, these talented women also displayed a willingness to take risks and attempt tasks that others did not have the courage to pursue.

The last trait is more difficult to define, but can be described as energy and interest. All of the successful women emanated a different style of energy and an enjoyment of life. Some were enthusiastic, while others were intensely quiet. Some laughed frequently and moved constantly, while others were very calm and almost reserved. However, each woman exuded an intensity about her life and work that seemed to give her the vitality she needed to pursue her talents.

Environmental Issues
Possibly the most diverse area that emerged as a factor in the talent development of women in my studies were the environmental issues that contributed to their success. Some came from upper-middle-class families; some were born into poor families. Some had parents who were highly educated; some had parents who had little or no education. Some attended prestigious women's colleges, some went to large state universities, and still others did not graduate from college. What environmental factors did they have in common? Most had nurturing families, but a few had families who were distant or abusive. Almost all had siblings. Those who had brothers usually agreed that their parents paid more attention and provided much more encouragement to their brothers. Most of the women were married or had long-term relationships and almost all of those who married had children. Many also divorced after finding that their partner was not very supportive of their talent development. Some delayed placing a primary emphasis on their career until they were able to do so because their children needed them, and some labored constantly on their journey to accomplishment. Most found ways to do both, and continued to actively seek support, help, further education, more knowledge, and increasing levels of sophistication in their work.

Perceived Social Importance of Their Work and a Sense of Purpose to Life
The gifted women in my study who achieved eminence had a strong desire to use their talents in ways that were personally satisfying to them and would benefit society. They each had a sense of purpose about life. They enjoyed life, but were not content with raising their families and having good relationships. Their work was critical to them, and they believed they could make a difference in the world because of their work. For these women, there was no choice about this contribution. They were simply not satisfied with their lives unless they could actively develop their talents. Most had friends and siblings who were just as smart or even smarter (if academic performance in school is the basis for assessment), but who were content to lead lives that did not involve the work or energy needed to develop her talent.

Why did these talented women work so hard when their friends and colleagues lived such different lives? My research found that these women had no choice; they wanted to contribute in some way, and they believed in themselves in a way that made it necessary to do what they did. "Something inside of me had to come out," several explained eloquently.

In addition to this drive to succeed, these women defined success in their own unique way. Most women wanted to take a different path in combining work and family. The women I studied were not content to be like other women who had successfully raised their children and then enjoyed their middle or later years by working in a career or job they enjoyed, pursuing hobbies or spending time with friends or family. Their work was critical and to accomplish their work, some women shifted career goals, trying different tasks each decade until they finally achieved their own goals. Others quietly worked to produce products such as books or art that were personally fulfilling and would bring joy to others.

Belief in Self and Desire to Contribute
Each of these talented women developed, from a combination of the factors already discussed (personality, environmental, etc.), a belief in themselves and a desire to translate their sense of purpose in life into some action which either made a difference or resulted in a creative contribution. They all had high self-esteem, a trait that has been found to characterize other successful women. Most of the women believed that their self-concept and self esteem were created from their own successes and from the love and support they received from family and friends.

Difficult Choices

A crucial point in the discussion of talented females is the knowledge that there is not one right or wrong way to use one's talents in life. My college roommate, Chris, recently sent me a Christmas card in which she told me that she had gone back to work in her husband's very successful plumbing business after the untimely death of one of his most reliable employees. She explained, "You'll be angry with me when you hear this, but I don't want to keep working, and I definitely don't want to become more computer literate. I want to go back to being a full-time Mom and having time for what I love--my family and my needlework and embroidery." My friend was an honors student in college, excelled in English and in creative writing, and became a terrific mother. Her children are happy and successful; her daughter is in her first year of college and plans to attend law school. My friend's needlework is beautiful, and she loves spending time on it. She continues with her creative writing and although she has not published her work, she still loves the writing process. Chris uses her talents in the way she chooses; she creates beauty in her life--by raising two successful and well-adjusted children and through her needlework.

According to the 1996 Statistical Abstract of the United States, fewer than half of mothers with children under the age of six are currently employed, and only about a third of mothers with young children work as much as 35 hours per week. When mothers do work full-time (40 hours a week or more), 33% have their children cared for by a relative as opposed to day care personnel. Choosing to care for children at home or choosing to work less than full-time are two important issues facing American women. As there is not one right path for any talented woman, the lives of all of the women that I have studied include complex decisions, compromises, conflicts, and contradictions. However, one finding is obvious--as long as women continue to feel frustrated about opportunities denied because of their gender, or the absence of time for female talent development, we must continue to discuss these issues and society must respond. We must begin to listen more carefully to the lessons learned by older talented women and pass along their wisdom to a younger generation, or we will continue reinventing a feminist consciousness each generation.

No doubt exists that research on the abilities of females has progressed since the Victorian Age when scientists argued that if women used their brains or exercised excessively, they would impair their fertility by draining off blood cells needed to support their menstrual cycle. However, until talented girls and women have the opportunities to grow, flourish, and achieve without the stereotypes and negative influences in our world, their talents may never be realized. To provide these opportunities, parents and teachers must work to make schools, homes, and society more sympathetic to, and supportive of, the special challenges and special needs of talented girls and women.

© 2000, Creative Learning Press, Inc. 

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